The storm blew across our small village,
like it was a lonely rock on a beach.
I thought it was the end of the word; an apocalypse.
Thunder and lighting shook me up.
I continued to walk.
Then, a lustrous spear of light manifested amidst the overlaying dark clouds.
It stabbed me in the head, knocking me down to the ground
I looked up, and there he was.
Clouds shifted creating a silhouette of a face, his face.
I started to tear from the intense light.
The old man above me coalesced his cheeks and blew at my face. My tears imminently dessicated.
I tried standing up, but he blew me back to the ground
He vociferated, "He that shall, shall not"
I replied, "Hm that makes perfect sense"
Then, it was over.
The storm was over, the sun rose, and the clouds disappeared.
I continued to walk, like nothing happened.
-Lie Phi
December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
On the Salem Witchcraft Trials
Arthur Miller's the Crucible has made Salem infamous for its witchery. Since his play, many have retold the story of religious paranoia. However, a new look has revealed insightful clues on how such hysteria could have been pervented.
The solution was latent, yet because it was socially unaccepted, it remained suppressed. The Egyptians applied it 2,000 years before the puritan settlers.
How obvious was it that the "whore's revenge" was not going to be remedied with mere talk. If only the puritans had given poor Abigail Williams a dildo to satisfy her sexual desires, wrongly prosecuted settlers would not have been killed. A wooden stick in shape of a phallus has always served as a panacea for hysteria that has sprouted in female waters.
History has shown us that true solutions have been eschewed only due to their repulsive faces.
-Lie Phi,
December 30, 2009
The solution was latent, yet because it was socially unaccepted, it remained suppressed. The Egyptians applied it 2,000 years before the puritan settlers.
How obvious was it that the "whore's revenge" was not going to be remedied with mere talk. If only the puritans had given poor Abigail Williams a dildo to satisfy her sexual desires, wrongly prosecuted settlers would not have been killed. A wooden stick in shape of a phallus has always served as a panacea for hysteria that has sprouted in female waters.
History has shown us that true solutions have been eschewed only due to their repulsive faces.
-Lie Phi,
December 30, 2009
Chuck Norris of the 19th Century
U know wat,
Today...hm...
Chuck Norris iz a man of greatness, strength, and fearlessness.
When Nietzsche said "God is dead,"
he never knew of Chuck Norris.
Chuck is God; and he will never die.
Here are some facts about Chuck:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, HE decides what time it is...
The list goes on...
But in 19th Century, there waz another Chuck Norris.
His name waz Andrew Jackson.
He is know for the Indian removal act,
Killing more than a thousand of Cherokees with his bare hands, yet
he, himself, adapted an orphaned Native American.
During a duel, he was shot next to his heart.
He did not even move, or twitch the slightest amount.
He shot back, and won the duel.
Once, in one week, he killed 22 bears.
He lived to be 78 with two bullets in his body.
When Andrew was dying,
someone has asked, "Will Andrew go to heaven?"
His question was answered, "If he wants to, who the hell is gonna stop him"
Andrew Jackson was the Chuck Norris of the 19th century.
-Lie Phi
December 28, 2009
Sources: www.chucknorrisfacts.com
American Lion, Andrew Jackson in the White House by Jon Meacham
Today...hm...
Chuck Norris iz a man of greatness, strength, and fearlessness.
When Nietzsche said "God is dead,"
he never knew of Chuck Norris.
Chuck is God; and he will never die.
Here are some facts about Chuck:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, HE decides what time it is...
The list goes on...
But in 19th Century, there waz another Chuck Norris.
His name waz Andrew Jackson.
He is know for the Indian removal act,
Killing more than a thousand of Cherokees with his bare hands, yet
he, himself, adapted an orphaned Native American.
During a duel, he was shot next to his heart.
He did not even move, or twitch the slightest amount.
He shot back, and won the duel.
Once, in one week, he killed 22 bears.
He lived to be 78 with two bullets in his body.
When Andrew was dying,
someone has asked, "Will Andrew go to heaven?"
His question was answered, "If he wants to, who the hell is gonna stop him"
Andrew Jackson was the Chuck Norris of the 19th century.
-Lie Phi
December 28, 2009
Sources: www.chucknorrisfacts.com
American Lion, Andrew Jackson in the White House by Jon Meacham
Equivocal Websites
The sun was setting.
I had a cigar in my left hand.
While Beethoven's Symphony No. 3 in E flat major played,
I found myself thinking of what do, instead of enjoying the moment.
I stared into my computer screen,
Could not resist to turn it on.
Perhaps, it was an intellectual slip,
but i had to do it; I was home alone.
I had to go to one of those websites,
you know, one of those websites that you go to when you are alone.
I typed it in, fml.com.
Indeed, fuck my life - that was one of the worst porn sites I have ever seen.
-Lie Phi
December 28, 2009
I had a cigar in my left hand.
While Beethoven's Symphony No. 3 in E flat major played,
I found myself thinking of what do, instead of enjoying the moment.
I stared into my computer screen,
Could not resist to turn it on.
Perhaps, it was an intellectual slip,
but i had to do it; I was home alone.
I had to go to one of those websites,
you know, one of those websites that you go to when you are alone.
I typed it in, fml.com.
Indeed, fuck my life - that was one of the worst porn sites I have ever seen.
-Lie Phi
December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Quite Despicable Introduction
Woah... that introduction was horrible. I have never seen a more despicable piece of improper verbiage. I take personal umbrage, for such egregious action. Please forgive, if you can.
After reading it, I would have expected a reader to have spat at his or her screen.
Kicking it of the table. Then, jumping on it until it dissipated into tiny plastic pieces. Collecting the broken parts, and melting them. Then, to cool them off, pissing on its visages.
I am sorry for the inconveniences.
-Lie Phi
December 27, 2009
After reading it, I would have expected a reader to have spat at his or her screen.
Kicking it of the table. Then, jumping on it until it dissipated into tiny plastic pieces. Collecting the broken parts, and melting them. Then, to cool them off, pissing on its visages.
I am sorry for the inconveniences.
-Lie Phi
December 27, 2009
Yo, 'erez a lil' introduction
Yeh, my name iz Lie Phi, forsho. I ain't famous yet to the hole world. Be der, soon, son. Don'cha yer wrry. Ay, mate.
-Lie Phi
December 27, 2009
-Lie Phi
December 27, 2009
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